My Wedding Got Postponed: How to Pivot and Re-plan your Wedding
Have you had your wedding that had been planned for months and months get unceremoniously cancelled or postponed by the Corona Virus? At the time of writing this, the country is starting to reopen little by little as we get into summer, and we have our fingers crossed that the Corona virus is able to stay contained and we wont have to go into another national lock down. However, given the nature of the virus, there is no guarantee that it won’t happen again, so today I want to talk about what to do if your wedding was supposed to be April, May, or June of 2020, OR if your venue has so many restrictions on your date that you needed to change it. (That has happened to some of my clients as well).
What to do now that your wedding is postponed
Have a pity party
We live in a world that tells us not to be upset by things. (Insert the epic “Kim, people are dying” quote from KUWTK) Every client who called me to work through the details of their new wedding day said the same thing to me “Yeah we are really bummed but it could be worse, right?”. And I have high levels of respect for these super evolved emotionally adjusted people. However, it is okay to not be okay about this. If 3 years of going to counseling and Frozen 2 has taught me anything, You feel what you feel and it’s okay. So I say…. have a pity party. Order some pizza, watch trash TV and drink a lot or do whatever unhealthy coping mechanism you do and let it all out. It was your wedding day and it got totally canceled and it’s going to be months if not a year before you get another shot at it. OR you had to pear it down to just a few people and THAT sucks too. (If you are an extrovert. If you are an introvert maybe this all just worked out for you) Either way, what I am trying to say is allow yourself to grieve. And when your pity party is over move to the next step.
Find a new date/venue
I’m glad I held off on writing this until the end of May because my initial advice would have been “Get a new date” and left it at that. But as more and more people are doing that, they are unable to find a new date that works at their desired venue and have to find a new one. This is a huge blow and you have my permission to circle back around to the pity party again if you need to.
If you have some available dates at your venue, send a message to your top vendors (catering, photography, wedding planner, video) and have them tell you which of those dates they have available. If they all have it, then awesome, book that date.
If you have to go venue shopping again, ask your photographer or other vendors for vendors that they would recommend based off of what you are looking for. Operating off a short list is less overwhelming than starting fresh. If you find something you like, play the “Corona” card and see if they can get your priority status when picking spots. I’m telling you, if a bride messaged me and told me that everything got ruined due to Corona, I would move mountains for that girl and make sure that she gets whatever she wants.
Take this opportunity to rethink or tweak your wedding plans
Often the first round of wedding planning we don’t know what we are doing because, well, it’s our first time ever planning a wedding. By the time you have it planned, you are a full fledged expert. So now that you have several months that you didn’t think you were going to have, my recommendation is to really examine every part of your wedding, especially if you had to change venues. Maybe you want to decorate a little differently, maybe you tweak the guest list. Maybe now you have a little more time to DIY some things. Take this opportunity to refresh the vision and hone in on what is important.
When in doubt, blame it on Corona
This one is related to the point above. Let me tell you the ONE (and I think the only one) good thing about having your wedding postponed by Corona is you have a get out of jail free card with all things wedding planning. Let me explain:
The story goes like this. Couple after couple come to me and say “We wanted to have a modest small wedding day with our friends that didn’t cost a fortune. Then my parents said we had to invite their friends, and his parents insisted on a full length ceremony, and my mom liked these flowers even though I didn’t and I didn’t want to have a plated meal but that’s what my dad insisted everyone does…” and before they know it their wedding has spiraled into this thing they didn’t necessarily want. This is your opportunity. If you look at your list and realize you don’t know a third of the people, you can un-invite them to the new date by blaming Corona and they will be totally understanding. If you go from a very formal venue to a more-to-your-taste outdoor garden venue, if someone complains, blame it on Corona forcing you to find a new venue. Your parents probably feel so bad for you they wouldn’t say much at this point, but there you go. Your permission to get it exactly how you want it this time around. Seize it!
My “Best of both worlds” suggestion
If you were really set on your date and it would be inconvenient to NOT get married soon, here’s my suggestion. Get all dressed up and invite only your immediate family or best friend and go to a beautiful park or outdoor location and get married! Make it super fun and romantic, take a ton of pictures with your photographer, and have a blast. Take a few days off and just enjoy being married and being together. Then, also plan your make up date wedding reception. You can have the small intimate wedding just about you two, and then you can have the big bash later, How I Met Your Mother style.
I work with my clients with this and allow them to do this as part of their wedding package. It’s just split up into two dates with shorter hours. If your photographer isn’t willing to do this, you should ditch them and let me shoot your wedding because I think it’s the least we could do.
There you have it, my steps on how to “re-plan” your wedding if it got cancelled by Corona. This sucks, my friend. I am so sorry that it happened, but I hope this list was helpful (and slightly amusing) for you. Don’t lose heart, you can still 100% have the wedding you want, it just may take a little time.
Comment any other suggestions you have below!